Have you established boundaries?

BOUNDARIES [p]ersonal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe, and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits. - Wikipedia (ok, so there are better references but this one is actually ok).

Think about your boundaries in the following categories - physical, emotional, material, mental, sexual, spiritual - and where and how you’ve set the invisible line that keeps you safe.

I always thought I was boundaried, but learned (perhaps a little too late, but perhaps in the only way to learn hard) I dissolved all boundaries in relationship. Which means I actually didn’t have a sense of boundaries in a partnered situation in the first place, despite being solid in other contexts, like work, and knowing intellectually what boundaries are.

I knew what boundaries were, but didn’t know what it felt like to have no boundaries until they were gone and it was too late to get them back in that particular situation. I had 2% charge left in my soul battery, so I removed myself from the situation with the little energy I had left to rebuild and recharge.

I realised that in practice I didn’t know how to keep my boundaries. This is equally as important as establishing them in the first place.

I’ve been working my butt off over the last year and a half to re-asses, re-define, re-establish my boundaries. And I think I’m doing pretty well although won’t know for sure until they’re tested again in relationship.

But I have a more solid and deep knowingness and sense of self and agency than I did before. Growth and reflection are the foundations for building new boundaries that keep me safe in all contexts of the word and in all contexts of life. ✨

ℐ𝒻 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝓃ℯℯ𝒹 ℊ𝓊𝒾𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸ℯ 𝒾𝓃 𝓈ℯ𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝒷ℴ𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓇𝒾ℯ𝓈, ℊℯ𝓉 𝒾𝓃 𝓉ℴ𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓉ℴ 𝒷ℴℴ𝓀 𝒶 𝓈ℯ𝓈𝓈𝒾ℴ𝓃.

Image thanks to Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash